South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
