So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Blood and glitter go together right?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
