your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
