people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
