There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
