After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
