I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
