he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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