if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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