and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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