I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize