I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize