i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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