Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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