So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
