whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
