Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Green mimosas i think yes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
