I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize