There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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