i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize