nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
