I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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