The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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