Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dicks are not precious.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
