i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
