Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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