i just wanna soil my oats bro
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
