16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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