My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
