Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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