I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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