I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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