I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
