tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
