You're completely useless in the revolution.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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