Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize