Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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