And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize