I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
