I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
