I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize