ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Enjoy the penises
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize