whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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