Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
