He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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