Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
im on a boat
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