No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
