If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
