i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
