So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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