I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
