I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
