I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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