Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
