just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
