Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I understand Curling. That high.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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