I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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