It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
