yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
