Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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