they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
