Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
