Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
