READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
