i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
