You smell like a Billy Joel song
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
