The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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